This Broken Body

Sitting on cold tile, holding yourself, spine bare, rocking.
Crying, losing that control that you need so much, stop crying, drop phone so no one can hear.
Small cries from the other line, speak! pick up! please! they're so frantic and these small mouse like sounds coming from the fallen phone are louder than thunder.

Body is losing feeling, no more solidity, falling. The fingers are ghosts they can no longer grab hold.
Your words are breaking me, bones cracking, being disappearing.

But I feel the shove, to repair, to mend, to control again. Refuse to give up. She wont let you give up. Even though you want to this time, just want to say goodbye, just want to stop the breaking.
                                                          But you can't.

The glimmer of hope still shines more than the fallen tears at my side.
So I force myself to hide it, force myself to survive it. I can survive it. I can. i can ican can I?
Just need to kiss you one more time, to remind you that you are mine.

I say I love you
and you repeat
that you love me
And slowly I feel it, my fingers  rebuilding
and this broken body
is getting up slowly.