It's you. It's always been you.

     It's kind of crazy how much I still can love you and how much hope I have. I've been through a lot where at times I didn't think I would survive. I told myself to give up. You don't need to keep hurting.You don't need to want to never wake up again.
      But I also told myself to shut up. That it will get better. Something whispered to me to not give up on love. To not lose that hope that now dangles over my head so delicately.
     I look out my window as I do every night before I go to bed, looking for a star or the moon that is so hard to see in this big city. Tonight I do not see the moon from where I am at. But that's OK. I still say goodnight to it. Just because I don't see it  doesn't mean it's gone. I still know it's out there, somewhere. I know it hears me and I know it says goodnight back.