Just Bitter.
My ears are ringing and I swallow the urge to throw up.
Sick.
YOU . I hate me for loving you and I hate that I know that I shall regret all of these words. I regret them even now. You . It's always you. For everything it's you. It's you who hurts me. It's you who breaks me. It's you who loves me It's you who hates me.
Betrayed. My skull is ringing. The blood swimming. How could you? Wrong everything is so wrong. Even Alice wasn't prepared for this one.
Mental
Your mind needs to be fixed. Something has damaged it. Someone. Was it me who helped you to go mad?
Changed. God don't you see it?! I'm different. I'm not her anymore. She was weak. She was cold and hard. I killed her and you helped. Now what? You regret it? You miss her. Well she is gone. Eat is. Swallow it. Breathe it in honey. She is never coming back. I'm happier and more beautiful than I ever was. Love her. Swallow her. Breathe Her.
Pain. God damn you! God damn you for everything you make me feel. God damn you to hell as I want to call you back and apologize eve though I have done nothing wrong.
Hate. It's seething through my teeth. My heart has gone silent. My rage is falling down my cheeks.
Sadness. The shock is overwhelming. My body is now shaking. Wave after wave after wave after wave
And still even now...
Love. I hate you even more. How could you? I forgive you.
My rage is being eaten. I miss you too much. I would still give this second to be with you. God I miss you. I can't believe how much I hate you.
I've gone mad too.
I have finally broken my spine in half. I have let my last bit of flesh to slip off that cliff. Tumble down. Rocks hitting bone and all. I'm surprised i haven't started bleeding from the inside out.
Fate. You can't fight it. It will punch you until your bruises cover you whole.
Each bruise a story. Story after story after story. Give in. admit. Live. You love him. Fuck the madness. Fuck the bitterness. I do.
God damn it I really have gone mad for you.
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